if i dont let my pre conceived notions about people go i guess they wont change in my eyes either. then you are always expecting the worse

To which someone replied:

Very true. But without being naive. That’s the key.

So there is no real perfect answer when you find yourself with a crowd of unfamiliar people – you have to somehow let go of the pre-conceptions on one side but on the other side of it you should never be so naive to think that people will generally accept you the way you are. Just because I am trying hard to fight my own personal demons, it doesnt mean someone else does too. They might think themselves quite perfect even if they build up some pre-conception about people. It is my personal experience that very few people make you feel at ease and totally accept you the way you are. Its a defensive mechanism I guess from their, but also being aware of yourself and the people you surround yourself with is not a bad thing, it just means you are selective and that the people you do end up being comfortable with the most might be long term friends. It also means you have good self awareness (EQ) and that you have some pride and dignity and you are not going to just throw yourself out there and let people take whatever liberties they wish. You do not have to sell yourself to be like the world wants you to be – be who you are first, screw the world.

So back to the question, would you go to a Tweetup? I suppose many have and to them it has been an awesome and enriching experience, but to those that haven’t, would you? I could probably skip a tweetup and not worry about it again, since it has no bearing on the few close friends I have and how they see me. It also has no real bearing on me, I’ll be me long after a Tweetup. On the other hand it could be nice to see what people do around you, maybe someone might be nice, and maybe you end up learning more about yourself. A favourite song of mine has the following lyrics:

Looking at life through a loaded gun
Take your best shot, aim it at the sun
Looking at life through a loaded gun
You’ll know you’ll find…

You’ll find yourself, you’ll find yourself alone
You’ll find yourself, you’ll find yourself alone
You’ll find yourself, you’ll find yourself alone
You’ll find yourself, you’ll find yourself

I cannot go through life looking at it with a loaded gun, because its self destructive. You cannot live in a defensive mindset, because as in rugby you cannot defend and defend and expect to win.

By getting a life I actually meant being more disciplined and being totally “there” as in being motivated and driven to achieve and to achieve well, otherwise nothing seems worthwhile. Yesterday I watched a video by John C Maxwell and in it he said that discipline is the bridge between our desires and our accomplishments and I think that is what I meant by “getting a life”. In the video he also mentioned that you cannot get ahead in life one step at a time, because one step does not really take you anywhere. You have to take two steps at a time, knowledge and action, knowledge and action. By getting a life I did not really mean going to clubs or doing less work, I actually meant being more committed in the work.